wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
