This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
