im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
