What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
