We won't sleep together?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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