im about as happy as oj after his trial
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
