I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
