I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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