Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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