apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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