Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
