I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
