he shaved USA in his pubs
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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