Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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