I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He did a backflip because drugs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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