So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
