I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
