You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
