i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
