I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
