yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
