I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
its liver damage thursday
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
