and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
