I never want to see another naked old woman again.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
