By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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