Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
