I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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