chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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