i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
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