Where did you get a picture of my penis
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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