whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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