3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
