Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
