she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
