This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
