i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
