And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize