you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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