Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
