Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
