I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
