i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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