Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
