those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
