idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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