Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
