She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
