My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
