therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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