small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
