Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
