Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
