Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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