i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
