I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
