is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
