There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
