Say something about gay babies.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
