he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
