..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
farters have to be the big spoon...
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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