you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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