You smell like stripper and shame
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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