Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
