Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
