I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
