They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Randomize
