I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
