I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
