dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
