I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
