i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
