at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
