That's intense
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
