he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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