I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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