Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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