At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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