Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
