Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
