why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
