You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize